Super Bowl Liveblog: White Hot Ennui Edition

FINAL: Well, we live in a world that has a 9-7 Super Bowl champion. Eli Manning is a two-time Super Bowl MVP. He made the plays you have to make in the 4th quarter, and the Giants’ defense took care of business against an elite quarterback. Congrats, Giants. Meh!

And what happened to those Eagles? Andy Reid had a Super Bowl party but of course, it started late. Juan Castillo was reported to have been invited to Andy Reid’s house to watch the game, but the invite didn’t come until Steve Spagnuolo declined Reid’s invite. Elsewhere, Michael Vick hosted a Super Bowl party for his teammates, eyewitness reports indicated the ribs were very tender. There were supposed to be sliders too, but we know Vick doesn’t do any sliding whatsoever. Juqua Parker jumped at the chance to get more Buffalo wings. DeSean Jackson didn’t show up. Jeremy Maclin showed up late and dropped his food on the floor. Casey Matthews was invited but he couldn’t find the house. Get ’em next year, Eagles!

9:54: Tom Brady has lost two Super Bowls. That’s kinda cool though. Andy Reid says you did a nice job there.

9:52: Here comes the Hail Mary pass. Please Lord Tim Tebow, let the Patriots catch it?

9:50: Hey, 3rd down conversion! But no time outs? E-A-G-L-E-S

9:47: Dropped pass on 1st down, dropped pass on 2nd down, sack on 3rd down? E-A-G-L-E-S

9:45: Well, here is where Tom Brady is supposed to reclaim his status as NFL alpha dog.

9:44: That looks like a taunt and not a stop-on-the-1-yard line/burn clock move.

9:43: Eli Manning, two-time Super Bowl champion? Two time BOOOOOOOOOOO.

9:42: This is turrrrible, as Charles Barkley would say.

9:40: This is a nightmare for Eagles fans. Giants driving for the Super Bowl winning score. Am I “Awake”? In one reality, the Giants win. In the other reality, the Eagles lose.

9:40: Oh right, it’s the Super Bowl. Cue stupid commercial.

9:38: Was that Juan Castillo on the Patriots’ sideline?

9:36: Manning Face in effect.

9:34: Of course that was a catch. Eli Manning is always good for ridiculous catches in the Super Bowl. Mario Manningham is the new David Tyree.

9:32: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Was that a catch? Yup.

9:31: Oh dear, the Giants are getting the ball to set up the game winning drive. Eli Manning Time? Seriously?

9:26: Remind me to set the DVR to not record “The Voice”, okay?

9:25: Are we supposed to be excited for a…stylus? Huh?

9:19: Oh, this isn’t a Fiat commercial?

9:16: WOW! Eli Manning suddenly uses the Andy Reid School of Time Management Handbook and blows a time out, then the Giants false start. Awesome.

9:13: Help rescue dogs…by putting them to work fetching beers?

9:10: Am I really going to wake up in a world with a two-time Super Bowl champion Eli Manning? I’m going to cry into my Turkey Hill Eagles Touchdown Sundae.

9:06: That commercial reminds me of that Ferris Bueller Saves the Day Off movie.

9:05: FUM-BALL! Giants get it back, which is more than the Eagles would have done this year.

9:03: Brady escapes a sack! Too bad that wasn’t David Tyree on the other end of that pass.

9:00 Nice commercial, you can see CGI Donovan McNabb throwing an earthburner too!

8:59: 17-15 after 45 minutes. Hot Super Bowl strange score action.

8:57: Man, it could be the Eagles kicking a bunch of field goals here.

8:56: Nice hair, Brady. Nice face, Eli.

8:55: Lawrence Tynes, Super Bowl MVP? Most Valuable Placekicker?

8:51: I’m feeling some more hot field goal kicking action coming a.k.a. Eagles red zone efficiency!

8:49: These commercials have been very baby-heavy. America loves babies!

8:45: It’s funny because Jay Leno stole something from somebody.

8:43: When does Jason Pierre-Paul tackle BenJarvus Green-Ellis and everyone achieves the singularity?

8:42: FACT: Bears beats Battlestar Galactica

8:41: Smashing Pumpkins bumper music. I like it. I am one.

8:40: I love Regis Philbin (no sarcasm)!

8:39: Fiat commercial: what?

8:37: Another big hit! And now, more hot field goal kicking action: doinks it in!

8:36: DAMN! Was that Asante Samuel delivering that hit? Oh sorry.

8:33: Cooper Manning sightings, anyone?

8:30: Philadelphia 76ers commercial! I’m wearing a Sixers t-shirt at the moment. Go Sixers!

8:29: Smash: the grown-up version of Glee?

8:27: Touchdown, Herrrrnandez! Was he opening a safe? Withdrawing money from an ATM?

8:26: So that TD pass the Eli Manning had in the first half was his first playoff TD since 2008.

8:23: Chad Ochocinco sighting!

8:20: Manning Face. Manning Face. Manning Face.

8:16: So I missed a bunch of commercials, and now Clint Eastwood is on the TV telling me the second half is coming.

8:12: World Peace? What does Ron Artest have to do with this?

8:07: M.I.A. adds to the abbreviation-heavy Super Bowl halftime.

8:06: I liked it better when it was those dancing hamsters.

8:05: LMFAO sighting! I hope he disinfects his neck after that.

8:05: She almost fell down.

8:03: I’m a Madonna fan, but I liked it better when Prince was the halftime entertainment.

8:01: Who had “Vogue” in the prop bets? Good point raised here: why does she even have a microphone?

8:00: Gizmo is completely unimpressed and has left the floor.

7:59: Oh, I’m going to rush right out and not download that LMFAO remix!

7:57: All those tipped Brady passes in the first half could be tipped Michael Vick passes. Sigh.

7:53: Do you think Peyton Manning is actually rooting for Eli to surpass him in Super Bowl wins, right in front of him in his home stadium?

7:50: 10-9 Patriots at the half. Madonna continues the streak of Super Bowl halftime entertainment average age over 50.

7:47: Hot two-minute drill action! Touchdown, Patriots.

7:46: Food break/profiterole dessert mania over.

7:11: If I had to take a side, I’m taking the Patriots. It’s working out so well, the free world is mostly picking the Giants to win.

The Menu: Bourbon apple chicken wings, rice, macaroni salad, potato salad, falafel chips, tortilla chips, salsa con queso, and Avocado’s Number guacamole

7:06: Hot field goal action. 9-3 Giants. And now: food break.

6:51: Touchdown, Giants. So…when do Phillies pitchers and catchers report again?

6:44: This Patriots tackling technique brought to you by the Eagles’ secondary.

6:43: Safety, Giants! Who had that prop bet as first score?

6:41: Pepsi commercial: Made me reach for a Coke.

6:40: Enter Tommy Brady. Let’s all pray to Tim Tebow for him.

6:39: Audi commercial: Okay then. Vampires don’t like Audis.

6:38: Bud Light commercial: BOOORING

6:35: Eli Manning is carving up the Patriots defense. Right when I type that, he gets sacked.

6:01: Friends are over. Gizmo the cat is hanging out. He’s not impressed with this little party.

Hi, I’m Wright, and I’m a Philadelphia Eagles fan.

I am filled with both white hot rage and ennui about the Eagles’ season. I have white hot ennui.

This is my Giants vs. Patriots II Super Bowl liveblog.


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